Fin de CCM

Buenas Tardes!

I have been finding answers in the most crazy inspired ways here.  I am writing letters to everyone about some of my experiences.  Mom, you should read D&C 8:10-11.  We watched a devotional from Elder Scott about prayer and how special and sacred it is, and he shared this scripture. It definitely takes practice though.  I am far from great at it!  

So I don't know if it's been the rain or what, but I have decided I want really classy rain boots instead of winter boots.  I guess we will see in NYC though.. Chelsea district here I come! Haha.  Anyways, it stopped raining this week and it has been fantastic!! I once again have weird tan lines and my nose is constantly peeling.

This week has already been one of the most stressful already.  Unlike most of my district, I am not trunkie.  I am excited to leave, but am realizing that I really struggle with doubting myself and feelings of inadequacy.  I set my sights way too high and am not good at being practical.  Monday I was feeling incredibly stressed and had a mental breakdown before lunch.  I want to be a perfect missionary now, and clearly I am not at that stage, nor will that ever be really possible in this life... Haha.  Hermana Livingston took me outside and she gave me the most amazing talk.  I felt like I still have so much to do to improve myself and I literally have no time.  I am already working myself to death.  What''s new though?  Hermana really comforted me and helped me realize that I already work harder than everyone else, and I need to realize that it's okay to just be okay right now.  I should feel like I am accomplishing grand things, because I really am.  I felt soooo much better after the talk and my first real cry here.  she really testified to me about our work and I know the Lord put her in my life for a reason.  I am so blessed.  Later that night I almost had two panic attacks.  I was unable to get some Spanish work done because I decided I needed to work on doctrine stuff instead.  I felt sooo guilty for not getting my work done before class, but I literally did not have time.  Nevertheless, I felt like I had let down my Savior.  My chest started to tighten up and I was breathing really heavy.  It took me right back to first semester of BYU.  But I prayed and the Lord saved me once again!  I took way too much to heart.  I still really struggled with feelings of inadequacy (and still do a tiny bit)  but Hermana and I pray for peace in my heart to know that I am doing my best.  That night I prayed to know if I had need to do more- if these feelings of really high stress are all in my head, or if they are valid and I am not quite making the Lord proud.  My answer came the next morning.  My AMAZING teacher, Hermana Valdez shared a talk with us by a man named Lawrence Corbridge called The Fourth Missionary.  It talks about the four kinds of missionaries, the last of which is the kind that we want to become.  The idea is that the fourth missionary makes his mission easier by making his mission hard.  He gives us everything he has- all his desires, all his wants for life, everything, and completely gives up his will to God.  He "boxes" up all his thoughts like "what are my friends doing at home??.... I wonder what I want to study in college??... what is my spouse going to be like??... etc." And completely focuses on what the Lord wants at the moment.  It's funny because throughout my time here I have found that I feel like Art Therapy may not be the correct path for me.  I just don't feel a passion anymore.  I realized though that that is subconsciously my Spirit trying to become the fourth missionary.  All those thoughts are irrelevant right now! I love it.  If you can, read the talk.  I might have you put it in a word doc and email it to me sometime.  Anyways, it was an amazing answer to my prayer because it showed me that I DO have more things to do! I AM inadequate! I am working myself mentally and physically to death, but not spiritually yet.  I can't wait to see the results as I become a number 4.  I don't feel as stressed though, and that is a miracle in itself.  I feel like things are possible now.

Anyways, the Church is true!  Hope things are great and I will email you Monday night. 

Les quiero!!

Todos mi amor,

Hermana Dodson

p.s.  Remember how I said I had to play mom?  Basically I am the District Mom.  The Elders use my Tide to go pen waaayyy more than I do, I am always handing out Pepto and Tylenol, etc.  Hahaha.

Viva Mexico!

Hola familia!

Say hello to one of the first missionaries to watch live TV in the CCM! Don't worry, I had permission ;)  Sunday was Mexican Independence day, and we literally celebrated all last week.  So did all the Mexicans.  Fireworks were going off like crazy.  It sounded like a war zone every night here in the city.  Saturday night we had a fiesta! You dídn't think missionaries could party, but guess what.  We do.  And we have rocking parties.  We had dancers come and perform for us, Latina singers, etc.  Fireworks, videos all about Mexico, it was so great.  The ladies that danced had these amazing dresses that spun like crazy.  All I wanted to do was try one on.  Haha.  The Mexican cultural dance for the men is the chicken dance.  Basically they put their hands behind their backs like wings and kick their feet.  Also there is this dance move where the men and women pretend like they are kissing.  The crowd went crazy.  Also all the Latinos in the crowd were going berzerk! They kept screaming and shouting "Arriba arriba!!" And other such exclamatories.  I was dying laughing.  On Sunday we all gathered back in the Gym at 11- waaayyyy past curfew.  But apparently every Independence Day the Mexican President rings a victory bell, symbolic of the bell rung to declare independence, shouts "Viva Mexico!", and Viva to the founding fathers, then the whole country of Mexico repeats the phrase.  So we watched live TV as the President shouted his phrases, and then we repeated.  It was so neat to be part of a cultural experience like that.  I was almost in tears Saturday night because I LOVE patriotism, and am so proud when people care for their country, and because I missed America TONS.  Can't wait to be back in 12 days!!  On Sunday after shouting about Mexico, we were instructed to go directly to our casas.  Apparently after the cheers, fireworks go crazy in the City, and in addition, the Mexicans all like to shoot their guns up in the air.  And since we live in the valley, it was raining bullets.  Hahahahahahahaha.  But don't worry, no bullet wounds here!

Mom, don't worry.  Aside from raining bullets, you could live here.  Apparently there is a Costco, because we have Costco pizza every Tuesday night!

I am learning a lot about asking inspired questions.  With one of our fake investigators, we can't get him to crack.  It just feels like we are saying words and nothing is getting through his shell.  I am learning that finding the specific needs of the investigator is the most important thing we can do.  This Gospel is truly a personal gospel.

Last Thursday was the weirdest day of my life.  I work up, had issues with my hair, went to breakfast, broke a plate at breakfast, and then when we went to class we found out one of our  Elders had left in the night.  It was so hard to hear that he was gone.  It's crazy that you can love somebody so much so quickly, and we definitely had so much love for him.  I was almost in tears all day.  It is so different to be on the other side of a missionary leaving.  It makes you question so much why you are here and what more you could have done to help them.  But our Elder is most definitely coming back, and I trust in the Lord and in the Lord's plan.  I know that a mission is the place for me, and I hope I never have to experience another loved one leaving again. 

Here is a story you will never believe.  We have switched from Volleyball to soccer.  And I am enjoying it.  Like a ton.  We play in a fenced in tiny basketball court, so the ball just flies and it is so hilarious.  I have fallen and gotten hit in the head multiple times, but all is well!! Also the other day I scored the game winning goal.  I'm basically up to Emmy's standard now.  Haha.

It has been super rainy ALL WEEK because there are two hurricanes coming in from both sides of Mexico.  Thank goodness for my raincoat! I am most definitely the best looking Hermana here ;)

Funny to hear the Livie and all the boys story from three different sides: Mom, Livie, and Dad.  My advice, take away the phone ;)

Love you all! The Church is true, Jesucristo lives, and I am so blessed to be able to represent Him.

Todos mi amor,

Hermana Dodson

The weird clock Sadie bought at the CCM store!

Why You Should Always Delete Awkward Selfies...

Hola familia!!

Yet another week down at the CCM! Less than three left.  I am so pumped.  Spanish is still coming along great.  I am able to speak a lot more, and understand even more.  I love it. 

Emmy's description of Face Off seriously cracked me up.  HAHAHA.  I miss that show.  And her.  I was showing everybody in my district my art in my photo album, and then of course they started looking through everything.  They were laughing so hard at the pictures I have of Emmy... mostly just the pirate one from the cruise though.  Hahaha.  Everybody loves a good beard. 

This week I have learned a lot about how quickly we can receive revelation from the Spirit, and how direct and amazing it can be.  One of my teachers always encourages us to pray and ask specific questions to the Lord.  I have been doing that a lot lately, and am truly blown away by the Spirit.  Words and thoughts flow to my mind.  Doing this frequently has also taught me soooo much about the Lord and how to listen.  I haven definitely improved my listening skills, especially in spanish, and in the "Language of Love" (which is what President Utchdorf tells us the Spirit speaks).  Being a missionary and being blessed with an enhanced attachment of the Spirit is helping me to become such a better person and a better teacher.  The other day before a lesson with our investigator Renato (who is Hermano Hardy again...haha)  we felt like we should prepare a lesson on repentance.  We did, and before we stepped into his "home" it felt sooo right.  But once we started talking with Renato, we put on our Spanish Ears and tried to understand what was going on in his life.  He told us about how he didn't know much about faith, and it became so clear that our lesson on repentance was no longer right.  We listened to Renato and tried to understand as much as we could about him as an investigator.  We also listened to the Spirit A TON.  I only had my Spanish scriptures on me, and since they aren't nearly as marked up as my English ones, I was frantically trying to find a verse that I could teach Renato.  But the language barrier made it a little difficult.... The Spirit led me to a scripture mastery, and we were definitely able to go off of that.  We pray Renato's faith grows as we begin to teach him about repentance next time... Haha.

Funny story of the week.  This one is really bad.  Like really embarrassing bad.  So I had this deal with Kendall that we would send each other awful awkward selfies.  Last week I sent her this terrible one of my face.  It's truly spectacular.  Anyways, missionaries here in the CCM love to abuse the time we use on the computers for language training by restoring all the photos that people send to their families out of the recycle bin, and then staring at them for an hour.  I think it's a way to cope with Facebook stalking withdrawls.  Anyways, if you have put together the pieces and are cringing, you should probably stop reading the story by now.  If not, I will fill you in.  On Tuesday, my elders call me in to look at this hilarious picture they found on the computer.  I'm all excited.  Like super excited.  Because we have definitley found some winning pictures here.  Anyways, I run in to the computer lab.  I looked at the new desktop background, only to be staring at my ugly hideous embarrassing selfie blown up.  I almost peed my skirt.  All the elders are rolling on the ground laughing.  Apparently they had already showed like everyone in the CCM.  And if not,  my picture had been on that computer for almost a week by then, so the whole CCM had alread found it by themselves anyways.  So, warning: always, ALWAYS delete awkward selfies.  And all pictures in general.  Amen.

Anyways, I am loving the work! It is hard, but es vale la pena!!

Todos mi amor,

Hermana Dodson

Week Dos: Mas Incomido

Hola mi familia!

I am officially 1/3 of the way done here at the CCM! It's kind of weirding me out a little.  Mi espanol viene, mas o menos.  Pero me gusta aprendar.

I had a fantastic week last week.  It felt so much quicker than the first week, but then last p-day seems like it was a millenium ago... Haha.

We finished teaching Pedro.  Our last few lessons went really well, as the Spirit was there and we felt so guided as to what to say to him.  Sadly, he rejected our offer for baptism 3 times... It was so heartbreaking.  He's not even a real investigator, but I got so invested in him.  Despite rejejecting us multiple times, Pedro must have been baptized and progressed pretty quickly in the church, because he is now our evening teacher...

This week it finally hit me what I am doing.  We have been seeing the main problem with 18 year old boys lately- they think the CCM is high school subconsciously.  When the teacher is gone, they go crazy.  It's been hard on me, because I don't want to miss our on the fun, but I do need to study.  Pedro (Whose real name is Hermano Hardy) had a corazon-a-corazon with us the other night and reminded us who we are- we are representatives of Jesus Christ! We only have a very limited amount of time here, and we need to study and learn all we can.  We took time to just sit and pray and then ponder and wait for the Holy Ghost to tell us exactly what we need to do- what goals we need to accomplish before we leave the CCM.  I was so overwhelmed with the Spirit after I prayed.  I realized that I'm not the person I want to be at all.  I know the doctrine, and Spanish is coming along great, but I cannot say that I am ready to be a great missionary yet.  It hit me that I am a representative of Christ.  I am taking His place in this work, because He literally cannot physically be here.  I can't say that at this time if I'm walking down the street, people see me as "Jesus Christ". I've been focusing so much since then on becoming truly Christ like.  Having the Spirit reveal to me that I have a lot of work to work on on myself was really a humbling experience.  I am so grateful for the Spirit and know that He will reveal the truth of all things, no matter how much it might hurt.  So, I am now on the journey of becoming the person I want to be.  I study the Savior's life and am slowly taking baby steps to accomplish my goals of becoming more charitable, humble, and diligent.  It's hard, but sooo worth it.  I love it.  It's weird to be spending my mission currently focused on myself, when the work is a self-less work. But I know that I cannot focus on others if I am not in the right place first.  My mission scripture has sooo much more meaning right now.

My elders are still having a hard time focusing, so I have been plyaing mom a little, but esta bien!  They know "what manner of men [we] ought to be"and I have complete faith in them.

My favorite days of the week are p-day and Sundays.  Sundays we have AMAZING church meetings, devotionals, and we watch a movie.  Funny story- they keep all the lights on during the movies to prevent cuddling (at least that is my theory).  Also Sunday lunches are the best!! They serve all the branch presidents lunch, so they go all out.  Picture this: after a long 24 hours of fasting, you go to the cafeteria and load your plate with corn soup, macaroni and cheese (with bacon!! Mom I told you that was a real thing), potatoes with crab, watermelon and all other types of perfectly ripened fruit, beans, the most amazing ice cream bar I have ever had, and chicken that tasted like spicy-lime Cheetos, that I'm pretty sure fell from Heaven.  I died a little.  And the best part?? We had the chicken leftovers for lunch on Monday! Also they have the best salsa here.  And they have like five different kinds.  And I love them all.

BEST NEWS EVER.  WE GOT PEANUT BUTTER IN THE CAFETERIA THIS WEEK.  Basically the first meal they had it I ate it on my pancake, my banana, and my spoon.

Sunday's devotional was by Elder Christoffersen and he said something like,"You are in debt to the Lord now before your mission, and you will be even more in debt after your mission because He will have blessed you that much more."Basically I will always and forever be an indentured servant.  No offense Mom, but the Lord is a much better slave driver... Haha.

Apparently Emmy wanted to see what Spanish scriptures look like. :)

This week's awkward story is brought to you by non other than, ME! My district's "thing"is volleyball.  We play it all the time.  So last week while we were playing the ball was coming right inbetween me and another Elder in my district.  We both sprinted for the ball and comletely slammed into each other.  And when I say slammed into each other, I mean like full on body to body contact.  And since our arms were out to get the ball, when we crashed the force was so strong it made my arms sort of wrap around his waist... Hahaha.  We jumped away from each other immediately, and you could just hear my district gasp all at the same time and then start yelling "Ohhhh! Somebody report that!" It was a little obvious that we have a bit more contact than just a simple firm handshake... Hahaha.

Getting mail is the greatest! It takes about 10 days to get here.  I haven't sent any out yet, so I don't know yet how long that will take.  I got letters last week from Mom and Elder Honey and it was seriously the best.  Also we can get packages here! I really don't expect you to send one because they cost a bum load of money, but if you do, stuff some Nyquill and cold medicine in it because something is wrong with me.

Love you all!! Have a great week! Don't forget to bless your food like I do!

Todos mi amor,

Hermana Dodson